Are There Any Questions? by Tom Lehrer — lyrics and song notes

Complete public-domain lyrics

The Physical Revue finale is a canon for four voices, set to Mozart's O, du eselhafter Martin. The sheet prints the professor's part and one shared student part. Student 1 enters at (*), Student 2 at (**), and Student 3 at (***). Both complete printed parts and their return lines are retained, including the author's etc., etc. instructions; additional overlapping copies are not presented as different verses. Only Lehrer's words are reproduced.

Professor

Now then, are there any questions?

Any problems, any questions?

If there are none,

Then I am done,

And I can bid you all good day,

For there's no reason I should stay here,

For I've said all I have to say here.

If there are none,

Then I am done,

I wish you luck on the examination.

And so, my friends, I bid you all goodbye,

I hope you've liked the course as much as I,

Goodbye, goodbye,

Goodbye, to one and all I say goodbye.

Just one more thing, and do not laugh:

I hope you'll take the second half,

Physics --

Physics Eleven B.

Now there's no reason I should (*) stay here, etc., etc.

Students

Ha! He asks if there are questions!

Holy smoke, have I got questions,

I got a ton,

And every one

Would take him half a day to do,

But I don't really want to (**) stay here,

Since he's said all he has to say here,

But it's agreed

That I shall need

Much more than luck on the examination.

And so I (***) think I'll let him say goodbye,

I guess that he is as relieved as I.

Goodbye, goodbye,

Thank God the course is over now, goodbye.

One thing he said that makes me laugh:

He hopes I'll take the second half.

Ha, ha!

Ha, ha! Don't make me laugh!

Ha! He asks if there are questions, etc., etc.