Written for The Electric Company, the song asks how to act in seven increasingly awkward situations. Each answer demonstrates an adverb. All seven source blocks and their acting cues are retained. The printed omissions in How do shake and goobye remain visible as source-edition spellings; no alternative performance has been substituted.
You're wearing your squeaky shoes,
And right there taking a snooze
Is a tiger, so how do you walk on by?
(loud whisper) Silently, silently,
Silent - L- Y.
You're a secret agent man
Who's after the secret plan.
How do you act so they don't know you're a spy?
(acting suspiciously) Normally, normally,
Normal - L - Y.
At an eating contest you boast
That you can eat the most.
How do you down your fiftieth piece of pie?
(nauseated) Eagerly, eagerly,
Eager - L - Y.
On the lake your boat upset,
And your clothes got soaking wet.
How do you stand and wait for them to dry?
( shivering) D-d-d-d-d-d-patiently, D-d-d-d-d-d-patiently,
D-d-d-d-d-d-patient - L - Y.
In the public library
You fall and hurt your knee,
But the sign says QUIET PLEASE, so how can you cry?
(crying) Quietly, quietly,
Quiet - L - Y.
As you walk along the street
A porcupine you meet.
How do shake his hand when he says "hi"?
(warily) Carefully, carefully,
Careful - L - Y.
You enter a very dark room,
And sitting there in the gloom
Is Dracula!
Now how do you say goobye?
(fast) Immediately, immediately,
Immediate - L - Y.