The Remains of Tom Lehrer
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Public-domain lyrics

My Home Town

Tom Lehrer

A nostalgic return to a small town reveals increasingly macabre stories behind its respectable neighbors.

The Remains of Tom Lehrer Disc 1 · Track 9 2000
Public domainSatireHometownDark comedyNostalgicMacabre
Complete public-domain lyrics

The narrator's warm memories conceal grotesque stories about the people he grew up around. This is fictional dark satire, including violence and dated derogatory language. The author supplies a four-page score rather than a separate lyric sheet. This reading follows its upper lyric row, repeats with the lower row, then continues into the final coda. The written humming cue is retained without inventing words. Line breaks and the seven section titles are editorial reading aids; spoken introductions from recordings are not included.

A return home

I really have a yen

To go back once again,

Back to the place where no-one wears a frown,

To see once more those super-special just plain folks

In my home town.

The girl next door

No fellow could ignore

The little girl next door,

She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown.

Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free

In my home town.

Dan

I remember Dan, the druggist on the corner,

'E was never mean or ornery,

He was swell.

He killed his mother-in-law and ground her up real well,

And sprinkled just a bit

Over each banana split.

The math teacher

The guy that taught us math,

Who never took a bath,

Acquired a certain measure of renown,

And after school he sold the most amazing pictures

In my home town.

Sunday School

That fellow was no fool

Who taught our Sunday School,

And neither was our kindly Parson Brown.

(Hum)

In my home town.

Sam

I remember Sam, he was the village idiot

And though it seems a pity, it was so.

He loved to burn down houses just to watch the glow,

And nothing could be done

'Cause he was the mayor's son.

Just plain folks

The guy that took a knife

And monogrammed his wife,

Then dropped her in the pond and watched her drown.

Oh, yes indeed, the people there are just plain folks

In my home town.

Credits

Written by Tom Lehrer

Words by Tom Lehrer, released into the public domain by the author. This is the author-published text edition, not a transcription of a particular performance.

Source & text edition

Author-published score · both lyric rows in repeat order, followed by the coda

Tom Lehrer's November 26, 2022 declaration relinquishes copyright in lyrics he wrote. It does not grant rights to third-party music, photographs or album artwork. This edition uses only his words.

Read the author’s score (PDF)

View copyright evidence · Author’s public-domain declaration

Retrieved 2026-09-08. Line spacing and section labels are adapted for reading. The displayed text follows the linked edition. Editorial notes and abstract artwork are by 52lyrics.

Source edition: The Remains of Tom Lehrer · Compilation · 2000-05-23 · US

Release data: MusicBrainz · CC0-1.0 · Retrieved 2026-09-07.

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