The Remains of Tom Lehrer
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Public-domain lyrics

New Math

Tom Lehrer

A confident arithmetic demonstration becomes a comic lesson in how explanations can confuse.

The Remains of Tom Lehrer Disc 3 · Track 10 2000
Public domainSatireMathematicsEducationPlayfulTheatrical
Complete public-domain lyrics

The same subtraction is worked in two number systems, with spoken classroom asides and a repeated refrain. All spoken and sung text from both pages is retained. The arithmetic printed in the margins is context, not sung words: 342 - 173 = 169 in base ten, and 342 - 173 = 147 in base eight. Those examples are stated here instead of being interleaved with the lyric lines by OCR.

Verse 1

You can't take three from two,

Two is less than three,

So you look at the four in the tens place.

Now that's really four tens

So you make it three tens,

Regroup, and you change a ten to ten ones,

And you add 'em to the two and get twelve,

And you take away three, that's nine.

Is that clear?

Verse 2

Now instead of four in the tens place

You've got three,

'Cause you added one,

That is to say, ten, to the two,

But you can't take seven from three,

So you look in the hundreds place.

Verse 3

From the three you then use one

To make ten ones ...

(And you know why four plus minus one

Plus ten is fourteen minus one?

'Cause addition is commutative, right!)

And so you've got thirteen tens

And you take away seven,

And that leaves five ...

Verse 4

Well, six actually...

But the idea is the important thing!

Verse 5

Now go back to the hundreds place,

You're left with two,

And you take away one from two,

And that leaves ... ?

Verse 6

Everybody get one? Not bad for the first day!

Verse 7

Hooray for New Math,

New-hoo-hoo Math,

It won't do you a bit of good to review math.

It's so simple,

So very simple,

That only a child can do it!

Verse 8

Now, that actually is not the answer that I had in mind, because the book that I got this

problem out of wants you to do it in base eight. But don't panic! Base eight is just like

base ten really - if you're missing two fingers! Shall we have a go at it? Hang on...

Verse 9

You can't take three from two,

Two is less than three,

So you look at the four in the eights place.

Now that's really four eights,

So you make it three eights,

Regroup, and you change an eight to eight ones

And you add 'em to the two,

And you get one-two base eight,

Which is ten base ten,

And you take away three, that's seven.

Ok?

Verse 10

Now instead of four in the eights place

You've got three,

'Cause you added one,

That is to say, eight, to the two,

But you can't take seven from three,

So you look at the sixty-fours ...

Verse 11

"Sixty-four? How did sixty-four get into it?" I hear you cry!

Well, sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see?

Well, you ask a silly question, you get a silly answer!

Verse 12

From the three, you then use one

To make eight ones,

You add those ones to the three,

And you get one-three base eight,

Or, in other words,

In base ten you have eleven,

And you take away seven,

And seven from eleven is four!

Now go back to the sixty-fours,

You're left with two,

And you take away one from two,

And that leaves?

Verse 13

Now, let's not always see the same hands!

One, that's right. Whoever got one can stay after the show and clean the erasers.

Verse 14

Hooray for New Math,

New-hoo-hoo Math!

It won't do you a bit of good to review math.

It's so simple,

So very simple,

That only a child can do it!

Credits

Written by Tom Lehrer

Words by Tom Lehrer, released into the public domain by the author. This is the author-published text edition, not a transcription of a particular performance.

Source & text edition

Author-published lyric sheet · original English words

Tom Lehrer's November 26, 2022 declaration relinquishes copyright in lyrics he wrote. It does not grant rights to third-party music, photographs or album artwork. This edition uses only his words.

Read the author’s lyric sheet (PDF)

View copyright evidence · Author’s public-domain declaration

Retrieved 2026-09-08. Line spacing and section labels are adapted for reading. The displayed text follows the linked edition. Editorial notes and abstract artwork are by 52lyrics.

Source edition: The Remains of Tom Lehrer · Compilation · 2000-05-23 · US

Release data: MusicBrainz · CC0-1.0 · Retrieved 2026-09-07.

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