The Remains of Tom Lehrer
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Public-domain lyrics

S‐N (Snore, Sniff, and Sneeze)

Tom Lehrer

A noisy celebration of the S-N blend builds from sneezes to a snoring, sniffing finale.

The Remains of Tom Lehrer Disc 3 · Track 22 2000
Public domainLanguageLearningWordplayPlayfulTheatrical
Complete public-domain lyrics

The Electric Company text grows by adding a new sound to each refrain. Spoken interruptions, noises and the fading-out direction are retained as part of the author-published script. This is the main printed wording; the alternative bed line and the optional replacement couplet in the footer are not mixed into it.

Verse

Like a rooster loves a hen,

Like a lion loves his den,

Like Barbie loves Ken,

I love to do things that begin with "S-N":

Sneeze

I love to sneeze -- (sneeze)

[spoken] Pardon me, please -- (sneeze)

I like to sniffle, it really feels nice.

One handkerchief'll

Just never suffice.

But, brother, watch out for the breeze

When I sneeze -- ( sneeze -- sneeze -- sneeze)

Sniff

I love to sniff -- ( sniff)

[spoken] Just take a whiff -- (sniff)

I also like snarling, it feels good to me.

Snarling is darling,

I'm sure you'll agree.

But I'm even happier if

I can sniff -- (sniff)

And sneeze -- (sneeze)

Snore

I love to snore -- ( snore)

[spoken] It's more like a roar -- (snore)

I like to snooze, I like resting my head.

I take off my shoes,

And I snuggle in bed.

Sometimes I just lie on the floor

And snore -- (snore)

And sniff -- ( sniff)

And sneeze -- (sneeze -- sneeze -- sneeze)

Coda

Sometimes I just like to snicker "tee-hee"

Or snub any snob who is snotty to me.

And whenever I have a few moments to spend,

[spoken] I can snoop on a neighbor or snitch on a friend!

But much more than any of these

I love to snore .... and to sniff .... and to sneeze.

(snore -- sniff -- sneeze, repeated while fading out)

Credits

Written by Tom Lehrer

Words by Tom Lehrer, released into the public domain by the author. This is the author-published text edition, not a transcription of a particular performance.

Source & text edition

Author-published lyric sheet · original English words

Tom Lehrer's November 26, 2022 declaration relinquishes copyright in lyrics he wrote. It does not grant rights to third-party music, photographs or album artwork. This edition uses only his words.

Read the author’s lyric sheet (PDF)

View copyright evidence · Author’s public-domain declaration

Retrieved 2026-09-08. Line spacing and section labels are adapted for reading. The displayed text follows the linked edition. Editorial notes and abstract artwork are by 52lyrics.

Source edition: The Remains of Tom Lehrer · Compilation · 2000-05-23 · US

Release data: MusicBrainz · CC0-1.0 · Retrieved 2026-09-07.

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