The main twenty-nine-line text moves from everyday measurements to infinity and back to keeping a beat. The author's second page supplies an optional Andrew Wiles verse added for a 1993 occasion and explains the song's earlier musical setting. This edition follows the complete main text without that optional insertion. It reproduces only Lehrer's words, not the third-party tune discussed in the note.
Counting sheep --- when you're trying to sleep,
Being fair --- when there's something to share,
Being neat --- when you're folding a sheet,
That's mathematics!
When a ball --- bounces off of a wall,
When you cook --- from a recipe book,
When you know --- how much money you owe,
That's mathematics!
How much gold
Can you hold
In an elephant's ear?
When it's noon
On the moon,
Then what time is it here?
If you could count for a year,
Would you get to infinity
Or somewhere in that vicinity?
When you choose --- how much postage to use,
When you know --- what's the chance it will snow,
When you bet --- and you end up in debt,
Oh, try as you may,
You just can't get away
From mathematics!
Tap your feet --- keeping time to the beat
Of a song --- while you're singing along,
Harmonize --- with the rest of the guys,
Yes, try as you may,
You just can't get away
From mathematics!