The Remains of Tom Lehrer

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Public-domain lyrics

The Old Dope Peddler

A seemingly kindly neighborhood portrait turns into a satire of predatory commerce.

The Remains of Tom Lehrer Disc 2 · Track 4 2000

Complete public-domain lyrics

Cheerful phrasing clashes with the subject of the song, exposing the narrator's disturbing idea of doing good. This is a fictional satirical portrait, not an endorsement of drug sales. The four printed quatrains are reproduced in full.

Verse 1

When the shades of night are falling,

Comes a fellow everyone knows.

It's the old dope peddler,

Spreading joy wherever he goes.

Verse 2

Every evening you will find him,

Around our neighborhood.

It's the old dope peddler,

Doing well by doing good.

Verse 3

He gives the kids free samples,

Because he knows full well

That today's young innocent faces

Will be tomorrow's clientele.

Verse 4

Here's a cure for all your troubles,

Here's an end to all distress.

It's the old dope peddler

With his powdered happiness.

Keep tracing

More from The Remains of Tom Lehrer.

01Fight Fiercely, HarvardPublic-domain lyrics 02The Old Dope PeddlerPublic-domain lyrics 03Be PreparedPublic-domain lyrics 04The Wild West Is Where I Want to BePublic-domain lyrics