The song decorates its clumsy romantic recollections with Viennese atmosphere and deliberately elaborate rhymes. This is the main three-stanza edition. The source also prints a London Tomfoolery substitution in a footnote; that alternate couplet is not silently mixed into the main text.
Do you remember the night
I held you so tight,
As we danced to the Wiener Schnitzel Waltz?
The music was gay, and the setting was Viennese,
Your hair wore some roses (or perhaps they were peonies),
I was blind to your obvious faults,
As we danced 'cross the scene
To the strains of the Wiener Schnitzel Waltz.
Oh, I drank some champagne from your shoe.
I was drunk by the time I got through.
For I didn't know as I raised that cup,
It had taken two bottles to fill the thing up.
It was I who stepped on your dress.
The skirts all came off, I confess.
Revealing for all of the others to see
Just what it was that endeared you to me.
I remember the night
I held you so tight,
As we danced to the Wiener Schnitzel Waltz.
Your lips were like wine (if you'll pardon the simile),
The music was lovely and quite Rudolf Frimly.
I drank wine, you drank chocolate malts,
And we both turned quite green
To the strains of the Wiener Schnitzel Waltz.