The Remains of Tom Lehrer
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Public-domain lyrics

We Will All Go Together When We Go

Tom Lehrer

A comforting communal refrain becomes a chilling joke about nuclear annihilation.

The Remains of Tom Lehrer Disc 3 · Track 18 2000
Public domainSatireCold WarDark comedyWryUneasy
Complete public-domain lyrics

The song imagines universal togetherness as the outcome of atomic catastrophe. Funeral imagery, insurance, food, and a board-game detour drive its dark humor. All ten printed blocks are included. Historical population figures and dated ethnic terminology are retained as part of the source text, not presented as current facts or preferred language.

Verse 1

When you attend a funeral,

It is sad to think that sooner o'

Later those you love will do the same for you.

And you may have thought it tragic,

Not to mention other adjec-

Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.

But don't you worry.

No more ashes, no more sackcloth,

And an armband made of black cloth

Will some day never more adorn a sleeve.

For if the bomb that drops on you

Gets your friends and neighbors too,

There'll be nobody left behind to grieve.

Verse 2

And we will all go together when we go.

What a comforting fact that is to know.

Universal bereavement,

An inspiring achievement,

Yes, we all will go together when we go.

Verse 3

We will all go together when we go.

All suffused with an incandescent glow.

No one will have the endurance

To collect on his insurance,

Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go.

Verse 4

Oh, we will all fry together when we fry.

We'll be french fried potatoes by and by.

There will be no more misery

When the world is our rotizerie,

Yes, we all will fry together when we fry.

Verse 5

Down by the old maelstrom,

There'll be a storm before the calm.

Verse 6

And we will all bake together when we bake.

There'll be nobody present at the wake.

With complete participation

In that grand incineration,

Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak.

Verse 7

Oh, we will all char together when we char.

And let there be no moaning of the bar.

Just sing out a Te Deum

When you see that I.C.B.M.,

And the party will be "come as you are".

Verse 8

Oh, we will all burn together when we burn.

There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn.

When it's time for the fallout

And Saint Peter calls us all out,

We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn.

Verse 9

You will all go directly to your respective

Valhallas.

Go directly, do not pass Go,

Do not collect two hundred dolla's.

Verse 10

And we will all go together when we go.

Ev'ry Hottenhot and ev'ry Eskimo.

When the air becomes uranious,

We will all go simultaneous.

Yes, we all will go together

When we all go together,

Yes. we all will go together when we go.

Credits

Written by Tom Lehrer

Words by Tom Lehrer, released into the public domain by the author. This is the author-published text edition, not a transcription of a particular performance.

Source & text edition

Author-published lyric sheet · original English words

Tom Lehrer's November 26, 2022 declaration relinquishes copyright in lyrics he wrote. It does not grant rights to third-party music, photographs or album artwork. This edition uses only his words.

Read the author’s lyric sheet (PDF)

View copyright evidence · Author’s public-domain declaration

Retrieved 2026-09-08. Line spacing and section labels are adapted for reading. The displayed text follows the linked edition. Editorial notes and abstract artwork are by 52lyrics.

Source edition: The Remains of Tom Lehrer · Compilation · 2000-05-23 · US

Release data: MusicBrainz · CC0-1.0 · Retrieved 2026-09-07.

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