The narrator turns an earnest march into a portrait of youthful misbehavior. The contradictions are the joke: this is satirical character writing, not practical advice. This edition follows the four printed stanzas of the author's lyric sheet.
Be prepared!
That's the Boy Scouts' marching song.
Be prepared!
As through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well,
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.
Be prepared!
To hide that pack of cigarettes.
Don't make book,
If you cannot cover bets.
Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure
That they will not be found
And be careful not to smoke them
When the scoutmaster's around,
For he only will insist that they be shared.
Be prepared!
Be prepared!
That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed.
Be prepared!
And be clean in word and deed.
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice,
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
Be prepared!
And be careful not to do
Your good deeds
When there's no one watching you.
If you're looking for adventure
Of a new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout
Who is similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared.
Be prepared!