Elizabeth, Sara, Jamie and Austin debate flavors and containers before agreeing on four cones. The sheet credits Lehrer with words and music for the 1973 UCSC production of Park. This edition retains every line on the main lyric page, including spoken replies and the overlapping final entrances in printed order. Page two offers possible scenes before and after the song; those optional scenes are not appended to the lyric.
Elizabeth: [spoken] Do you know what I would really like right now?
[sung] I would like ---- some ice cream.
Sara & Jamie: Me too!
Elizabeth: I would like ---- a cone.
Sara & Jamie: Me too!
Austin: Me too!
Elizabeth: It would really hit the spot,
And make me feel a lot
Like a queen upon a throne.
Jamie: [spoken] What flavor does your majesty crave?
Elizabeth: I would like ---- vanilla.
Jamie: Me too!
Austin: Not me. Iʼll take chocʼlate.
Sara: I want peach.
Jamie: [spoken] Peach??
Sara: [spoken] All right, chocʼlate.
Elizabeth: But wouldnʼt it be pleasant,
Some day when no oneʼs present,
To order one of each.
Sara: [spoken] Including peach! [Sara and Jamie stick tongues out at each other.]
Austin: Would you rather have a dish?
Elizabeth: [spoken] A bit too fancyish!
Austin: Would you like it on a plate?
Elizabeth: [spoken] Itʼs good -- but not great.
Austin: Would you like it on a stick?
Sara & Jamie: [spoken] Ick!
Austin: Well, how about a cup? [others shake their heads]
Okay, four cones, coming up!
Iʼll go and get the ice cream.
Jamie: Me too! You canʼt carry them alone.
Elizabeth & Sara: Heʼs right.
Austin: I know.
Jamie: Two chocʼlates, two vanillas,
Elizabeth & Sara: Two chocʼlates, two vanillas.
Austin: For nothing the world has ever known........
Jamie: Nothing the world has ever known.......
Elizabeth & Sara: Nothing the world has ever known
All [in harmony]: Can compare with an ice cream
Elizabeth: Cone!
Austin & Jamie I want an ice cream cone!
Elizabeth & Sara: [spoken] Me too!