The main lyric moves from Newtonian expectations to length contraction and an ominous atomic-age ending. Its musical setting is Personality by James Van Heusen from The Road to Utopia. This edition presents the complete twenty-one-line main song. The expressly optional opening verse and the separately printed Physical Revue dialogue are excluded, not silently blended into the lyric. The distorted rhyme w-e-o-ry remains as printed.
When Isaac Newton wrote
The laws that we all quote,
It's now extremely apparent that he
Neglected to consider
Relativity.
What focused our attention
On the fourth dimension?
We'd been doing so well with just three.
'Twas Mister Einstein's brain child,
Relativity.
And who would think
And who'd forecast
That bodies shrink
When they go fast?
It makes old Isaac's theory
Look w-e-o-ry.
And so if you are near
When atom bombs appear,
And you're reduced to a pile of debris,
You'll know it's largely due to
Relativity.