Tom Lehrer: Author Lyric Sheets
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Public-domain lyrics

s = ½ gt²

Tom Lehrer

A professor's stream of formulas meets a student's increasingly anxious hope of passing physics.

Tom Lehrer: Author Lyric Sheets Text 32 Undated text
Public domainPhysicsEducationDuetAnxiousComic
Complete public-domain lyrics

Lehrer reuses his own Te Amo tune for a professor-and-student duet. After the two opening solos, the source places the parts in parallel columns: they overlap in performance. For linear reading, each paired passage is presented professor first, then student, with separate reprises and codas. Both complete parts are retained; the symbols pi and L are corrected against the scan, and the final grade remains a C.

Professor · Opening

s is one half g t squared

p v equals n r t

K E is one half m v squared

And T is 2 π times the square root of L over g.

Student · Opening

I try my level best,

And I cram for ev'ry test,

And I do all my work without delaying.

I'm certainly not lazy,

But I think I'll soon go crazy,

'Cause I don't understand a word he's saying.

I hope they overlook this course,

For why I ever took this course

Will always be a mystery to me.

But still I wish I knew

Just what the dean will do

If I don't get a C.

Professor · Force

The force is mass

Times acceleration.

Yes, the force is the mass

Times the acceleration, or more

precisely, the time derivative

of the linear momentum.

Student · Response

I think he said the force,

I know that word, of course,

It's all becoming clear,

But it's too late, I fear.

There he goes again!

Professor · Reprise

s is one half g t squared

p v equals n r t

K E is one half m v squared

And T is 2 π times the square

root of L over g.

Student · Reprise

I try my level best, and I cram for ev'ry test,

I'm certainly not lazy, but I think I'll soon go crazy,

'Cause I don't understand a word he's saying.

I hope they overlook this course,

For why I ever took this course

Will always be a mystery to me.

But still I wish I knew just what the dean will do

If I don't get a C.

Professor · Coda

Over g

Over g

Square root of L by g.

Student · Coda

a C

a C

If I don't get a C.

Credits

Written by Tom Lehrer

Words by Tom Lehrer, released into the public domain by the author. This is the author-published text edition, not a transcription of a particular performance.

Source & text edition

Author-published lyric sheet · original English words

Tom Lehrer's November 26, 2022 declaration relinquishes copyright in lyrics he wrote. It does not grant rights to third-party music, photographs or album artwork. This edition uses only his words.

Read the author’s lyric sheet (PDF)

View copyright evidence · Author’s public-domain declaration

Retrieved 2026-09-08. Line spacing and section labels are adapted for reading. The displayed text follows the linked edition. Editorial notes and abstract artwork are by 52lyrics.
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