Tom Lehrer: Author Lyric Sheets
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Public-domain lyrics

Speed's Song

Tom Lehrer

A servant recognizes all the symptoms of love in a master who once laughed at other lovers.

Tom Lehrer: Author Lyric Sheets Text 35 Undated text
Public domainTheatreShakespeareRomanceTeasingTheatrical
Complete public-domain lyrics

The sheet says this was written for Act 2, Scene 1 of an abandoned UCSC musical version of The Two Gentlemen of Verona. Lehrer credits Ernesto De Curtis's Torna a Surriento as the tune. The four complete lyric stanzas retain the sob cues and the broken-up word War-bl-ing. The Shakespeare dialogue printed below the divider is background, not an additional lyric verse, and is not reproduced here.

Verse 1

All day long you whine and whimper,

Sighing sighs and looking vague,

Fold your arms and look tormented

(And) hide as if you had the plague.

Verse 2

War-bl-ing pathetic love songs,

Tossing in your sleep at night,

Weeping [sob] --- just as if you'd lost your mother,

Fasting with no appetite.

Verse 3

Once you used to laugh at lovers

When they spoke of how it feels,

Weeping [sob] --- only when you needed money,

Fasting only between meals.

Verse 4

You may be my master,

But look how you behave!

Love is the master now,

You are the slave.

Credits

Written by Tom Lehrer

Words by Tom Lehrer, released into the public domain by the author. This is the author-published text edition, not a transcription of a particular performance.

Source & text edition

Author-published lyric sheet · original English words

Tom Lehrer's November 26, 2022 declaration relinquishes copyright in lyrics he wrote. It does not grant rights to third-party music, photographs or album artwork. This edition uses only his words.

Read the author’s lyric sheet (PDF)

View copyright evidence · Author’s public-domain declaration

Retrieved 2026-09-08. Line spacing and section labels are adapted for reading. The displayed text follows the linked edition. Editorial notes and abstract artwork are by 52lyrics.
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