This short Physical Revue song satirizes cheating and the narrator's misplaced ingenuity. It is a historical comic text, not advice for an examination. All three four-line blocks and the three-line chorus are retained. The source credits both words and music to Lehrer; only the words are displayed here.
Don't bring the answers in on bits of paper,
And don't be crude and write them on your cuff.
The proctors would catch on to such a caper,
And you can bet they'd get you soon enough.
Don't write them on your thumbnail, that's the worst place.
Don't write them in the lining of your hat.
You really shouldn't be here in the first place,
If you can't be more original than that.
Against such things they have a justified rule,
They expel you without benefit of doubt,
But if you hide the answers in your slide rule,
It's 8 to 5 that no one will find out.
Yes,
If you hide the answers in your slide rule,
It's 8 to 5 that no one will find out.